004 | the process is the art is the process
plus CLUBHOUSE + coworking + film scans
Hey, you!
It’s been a minute, but it’s because I have lost sense of time (again), as one does during a pandemic when the world is shut down.
One day feels like…five?
I just took a nap. Why not take another?
I have tiptoed back on to social media (not Facebook - I logged back in and, geez, that place is just toxic. I have my burner account and am fine not existing past that on that platform for now), and so far, it feels ok. I still delete the apps off my phone, but I am engaging a lot more than I was, and I don’t feel the same pitless feeling when I am using the apps.
I have mostly been online under my “Housekeys,” accounts, and not “Tiffiny,” right now. This has happened before, when I couldn’t really get ahold of my full identity; usually after breakups (i.e. The Two Intense Breakups in my life). I existed in fragmented parts - not a complete being. Each part was running around, doing their own thing, screaming, waving hands, thrashing.
I do believe we exist in parts. Not wholes. It is only parts of us that hold onto trauma, bad memories, pain, etc. When I learned to start feeling and hearing the different parts of me, it helped me feel like I, Tiffiny, one whole human, was not entirely broken. Just parts of me were, and I, Tiffiny, one whole human with a Higher Self could help nurture those very, very afraid and delicate parts until they amalgamated into the blob that is my subtle self, which takes up space in and around the physical shape that is my body.
This is all to say, I sometimes move away from “Tiffiny” online, and nestle up to my identity as “Housekeys.” I definitely feel that happening again. My Housekeys identity allows me to be something Tiffiny does not. I’m not sure why or what that is.
Anyways, this used to really upset me, and I would get lost in figuring out how I, a multi-skilled creative person, musician, artist, marketer, earring-maker, outdoorsy-person, home-body, etc…. shows up online as on person/brand?! I’m still figuring it out. I may never figure it out. Am I ok with that? Maybe not…yet?
Also, what the hell am I doing to do about the new batch of earrings I’m going to put up for sale in a couple of weeks!?
The art is the process is the art.
We are never finished making art. The process is the art, just as much as a ‘finished’ piece is the art.
Enveloped in that is also the process of working on ourselves. I am going through a bit of a personal transformation right now, and it is showing up in my art. I can feel that I am more sure of who I am and what I’m trying to “do” with art. I do get caught up in the fact that I’m 35 and “got started so late,” but I’ve been exposing myself to the stories of so many other artists who share their process, and age is only a limit. Remove that limit, and we are limitless in what we can create.
COWORKING
I recently signed up for Deskpass, because I (finally) got hired for a remote contract job and I need a place that is not my home to work from. I hate working from home. I did it for over 6 years, and it’s just not for me. I curate creativity and coziness in my home, and I just don’t want work to take place there.
I used to work from coworking spaces in Denver all the time, but never really had the chance to while living here in Seattle since I worked at a hotel.
There are a few coworking spaces in Seattle currently open, and you can also use your credits in other cities if you travel. Sort of like ClassPass, but for coworking spaces, not gyms. This is an absolutely personal endorsement, not a paid one, but that link is totally an affiliate link so you can get a free trial and I can get some coworking credits. :D
PHOTODUMP
I got some very old rolls of film developed, and it was nice to see some old photos.
A film scan from Denver, CO c. 2017
Double exposure…from I’m not sure where. It looks like it could be a couple spots. c. 2016-17
The Flatirons in Boulder, CO c. 2016
TALKING THE TALK (on Clubhouse) + TIKING THE TOK
Ok, so I’m on Clubhouse and I really, really like it. REALLY. I’ve been hopping into several rooms about content creation, creativity, and art. I’ve already met so many cool folks potential collaborators. If you’re on Clubhouse, come find me!
I have also officially taken the TikTok plunge, after a long time of resisting. I’m really trying to embrace the idea of “showing up” with my art, even when it feels like it is not being received, seen, or appreciated. Social media IS a very real place to show up, and just test things out. So I’m doing it.
I’m trying to take social media less seriously, (read: take myself less seriously) and use it for showing up, posting, engaging, letting it go, and then getting on with my day and/or continue creating. I do love connecting with you all though. :)
I have posted only a few times on the Tok of Tik, all about what pedals and instruments I use to create ambient music + loops. I’ve also been repurposing that content straight into Reels on Instagram. I am also working on YouTube content with how-tos, instructions, demos, etc. around the types of sounds I make, and just, like, general ways to use pedals that are NOT white dudes riffing choppy-ass chords that nobody is even playing anymore on boutique effects pedals.
By the way: I’m not scared of being an artist AND a content creator. There is some stuffy, snobby-ass bullshit in several artist communities about content vs. art, and yes there is a difference, but no, you aren’t better for being judgemental about those of us who want to share our art in a trendy and accessible way. Making content doesn’t minimize your art either. NOT GETTING PAID FOR EITHER DOES THOUGH.
CONTENT I’M CURRENTLY/HISTORICALLY CONSUMING
Creative Pep Talk Podcast with Andy J. Pizza - holy moly this podcast is shaking up my world in such a good way! Andy is such an incredible host, and he interviews truly wonderful artists that make me feel like even though I feel lazy, lost, too old, too inexperienced, too this or that, that I am ON THE RIGHT PATH. Plus, Andy’s illustrations for each episode are mega eye-candy.
The Nocturnal Brain: Nightmares, Neuroscience and the Secret World of Sleep by Guy Leschziner - I just started this tonight, on my Evening Headlamp Waltz alongside Lake Washington. I really want to understand why I keep dealing with major fallouts of depression, anxiety, and whatnot, while others respond to treatment and can continue on with their lives, thriving. So, I want to consume as much as possible about the brain. Sleep seems like a good place to start. Oh, and:
"You can survive longer without food then without sleep."
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - I’ve specifically been paying a lot of attention to synchronicity (week 3). There have been so many small instances in my daily life that have felt coincidental - they are not.
Three by Madeline Anderson, on Criterion Channel. Madeline is recognized as the first black woman to direct a documentary series for tv, and the three films of hers featured on Criterion this month are an absolute must-watch and a reminder that what we are seeing today, with Black Lives Matter protests and activism, is NOTHING new.
Marie Losier Films: oh my gosh - if you want to laugh at someone who was doing TikTok before it existed… watch Marie’s films. She splices in herself and her own acting onto classical films like “The Passion of Joan of Arc” and “The Touch Retouched” and it’s all so brilliant.
The below video, even though I’m not quite ready to give up my iPhone anytime soon, was incredibly eye-opening. I feel that personally, working on discipline and boundaries IN MY LIFE will help so many areas, like my iPhone use. In one of the Clubhouse Rooms I frequent, someone said “Discipline is Self-Love,” and that is actually the perfect re-frame I needed.