tonight: thoughts on moving to nyc at age 35.

join us next week for "thoughts on being 35: the age where you are too old AND too young at the same time."

pics: me in NYC in 2007 —> me in NYC in 2021, same spot, at the top of the Empire State Building. 

i have almost had the thought “i wish i would have moved here when i was 25 instead of 35,” since moving to nyc but i haven’t yet.

if i had moved here at age 25, i would not have been sober or financially capable of making it on my own here, and i’m the type of gal who needs to live ALONE, so living is more expensive for me. and with the 4am bar closing time, i’ve already gotten in trouble a time or two in nyc as a visitor. ;) 

if i had moved here instead of moving to seattle two and a half years ago, (it was either nyc or seattle, i chose seattle) i wouldn’t have met some of my now-closest friends, mentors, and collaborators. 

i wouldn’t have experienced truly beautiful, deep love which resulted in shattering, grief-heavy heartbreak that can only come from a truly deep love. i needed to experience both sides of that spectrum to create the version of tiffiny i am today.

the tiffiny i am today: i am a tiffiny who finally feels like she can unapologetically be herself. who knows what she wants (spoiler: it’s definitely not a romantic partner, given my extremely loud anxious-avoidant attachment type, trust issues, but maybe i’ll pick one up along the way!), is capable of recognizing and ignoring time-wasters and energy-dementors

JUST KEEP MOVING

JUST KEEP MOVING

are the words in my head and on sticky notes in my bathroom that literally keep me moving.

i have learned that i *have* to fill my cup in order to fill others. knowing what makes me happy allows me to be capable of sharing and spreading love and kindness to others.

i am still learning to ask for help

i am still learning not to blame myself for what others think

i am still learning to love myself, all of myself, at all times. 

i am still learning that i am worthy of love

i am still learning to trust myself